9: Supersonic! The Model Kit
Ah yes, the Supersonic Lockheed Blackbird model kit. You could get some great stuff from breakfast cereals! Today’s strip ends with the most annoying thing you could ever see at the end of your favourite TV series’ episode: ‘To be continued…’
TV Torture
The Races: Hours and hours of drawn-out torture
Hours and hours of drawn-out torture
Yep – just as Steve Austin was about to be defeated by Barney – or David Banner was being annoyed – too much – by some thugs, that bloody text would appear onscreen. And it wasn’t like you could just skip to the next episode on your BluRay disc or play the next one on some subscription web TV service. Oh no, no, no; You would have to wait a whole WEEK.
And do you know what else might happen then? It gets worse. Much worse. There you are, a week later, sat on the floor in front of the telly with your Corn Flakes, your little heart racing, counting down the seconds – just like you did «waiting for Space 1999 to come on at 5 o’clock – and an announcer would say:
This week’s episode of Planet of the Apes has been postponed – until further notice – due to Racing at Chepstow.
You could say that life wasn’t actually all great for kids in the ’70s. In many ways, it could be hell.
The Cereal Aisle
I asked the question last week on the Between * Wars Facebook Group:
“During boring Saturday trips to the supermarket, what was your favourite aisle?”
Hmmm… the nutritious goodness of refined sugar, with JOE 90.
In the landslide of reader comments that ensued; three of the three readers who answered, replied with “The one with all the amazing cheese varieties in it.” – that was Rove; and ” “The wine section in Superquinn in the 1980s” – said my little sister Candace, who would have been aged between 3 and 13 at the time! And finally, Tom Gatto who said “The cereal aisle!”
You see Tom, (as I adjust my monocle and put on a German accent) you and I are not so verrry different after all…
Tom actually even cracked one of the gags in today’s strip: “(…) swearing that the worst cereal on the shelf was your favorite, because it came with a (supposedly) good prize.” Not so verrry different, Mein Herr.
Without meaning to sound holier-than-thou, I loved having breakfast at my cousins’ houses in England. They usually had Kellogg’s Variety Packs. If you were quick enough you could snag some crappy Sugar Puffs, or Frosties. At home my mum usually gave me Ready Brek [powdered oats] with a concoction of stuff added to it: Bran, Wheat Germ and Lyles Golden Syrup. The latter was supposedly more healthy than plain sugar. Hmmm.
To me, this looked like a picture of a dead, rotting Lion carcass with bluebottle flies buzzing around and living in it. Or maybe they were wasps! Maybe this was how wasps made their kind of honey? In Lion carcasses. Then Lyle made that into Golden Syrup?
Supersonic Blackbird Model Kit!
Finally, a word or two about one of the main focuses of today’s strip, the special offer model kit. My mate Alan had one of these. I just reversed the roles of the 2 kids. Jack has it – and Adam is coveting it. It might have been a Rice Crispies or Frosties cereal offer that he availed of – not sure. But of course, I coveted it. Well just look at it – it’s amazing! It was black – and it had the word Supersonic in its name!
It was a tricky game in those days, trying to stay with the right breakfast cereals as they offered Dr. Who cards and Dioramas; or Olympic Games collectible stamps; or Star Wars Letraset transfer scenes… It was a bit like deciding what your 1 or 2 weekly comic allowance would be used for. Warlord? 2000ad? Battle? Fireball? Spiderman Weekly?
Like I said, being a kid in the ’70s could be hell sometimes.
** Stay Groovy, all you 1970s kids! **
– John White
Adam walks into Jack's house via the back door and says hello to Jack's mum, who is stood at the sink washing the dishes. "Hiya Jack's mum!"
Jack's mum replies, "Hi Adam. He's in his room. Follow the glue fumes."
Like a Bisto kid - he does and arrives at Jack's room, pinching his nostrils. He thinks, "Euww... my brain-cells." and then exitedly yelps, "Wow! you got it!!!"
Jack, brows furrowed in concentration confirms it: "Yep! 10 box-tops and a fifty pence postal order!" His concentrating brows are focused on a model airplane. It's a Supersonic Lockheed Blackbird. It's not looking to good, with gluey fingerprints and blobs of polystyrene cement all over it. Adam asks, "Are you going to paint it?" Jack can't be bothered with that part of the exercise, "Nah - once all the decals are on, it'll look perfect."
Adam thinks about how Jack managed to get this model kit, and points out, "But Jack, you hate Salty Fibre Husks." The were a type of cereal that was usually only eaten by old people with constipation, but lately they'd been trying to get in on the kids' market.
Jack recalls the supermarket shopping trip with his mum. His mum had said the same thing. But Jack testified, "Mum, I LOVE Salty Fibre Husks" while holding up the cereal box, with its picture of the Supersonic Blackbird on the box. His mum, sighs, and thinks to herself, "And so it begins: New Craze number 847..."
Back in the present, Jack has gone a bit woozy and is lying on his bed, "Ohhh... I feel funny. Room - spinning..." The model kit glue has affected his brain.
Adam - ambivalent about this - or perhaps just used to this fact of 1970s life - asks, "So - whatcha do with all the cereal?" Assuming of course that Jack wouldn't have actually eaten any of the 10 boxes bought by his mum. "Well, let's put it this way," said Jack, pointing with a shaky hand, "do not open those wardrobe doors." Adam noticed the doors bulging against the sticky tape, and pieces of Salty Fibre Husk falling out onto the carpet. "Hmmm..." he replied, in deep thought. "You have a problem."
"But," he said, assuredly, with a wink, and puffing sagely on his plastic bubble pipe, "I think I know how we can make it all just - go awaaaaayyy..."
(To be Continued on the next page)
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